Thank you

Thank you for helping me realise that the need for me to grow up has never been greater than now.

This matter is so distracting for me to the point that I have to let it out now so that I can concentrate on my last-minute studying. Got an end-of-block exam in two days. I know I said I won't do well this block, but I think that's just pathetic. I want to do well and I want to burn my brain to get that. I'm sorry I made it look like I had given up. What is the use of faith if I don't use it?

Thank you for giving me back my spirit. Please be patient with me. I really want to improve. I won't blame anyone else anymore. Doesn't matter what kind of childhood I had, I am responsible for everything I do from now on. I am a wimp and a coward. But I don't want to be like that anymore.

I'm sorry I let you down, always being indecisive, shy, depressed. That's not from God and I really don't want to be a part of it. God help me please, I want to be an inspiration and encouragement, not an object of sympathy.

This is my prayer and commitment.

What happened?

Something's definitely different. 

Where did that version of me go? The version of me who always believed that if at least someone could do it, I could do it? The version of me who got more determined the more I failed? What happened to the boy who had infinite energy and spirit? 

Come back, please.