everyone talks about achievements and failures, new chapters and new beginnings. nobody talks about what happens in the process. I guess these things should remain personal eh? or do they just seem relatively unimportant?
in betweens suck. deciding which one of two paths to take, in the midst of recovery from a tragedy, the moment when you just run out of things to say, waiting for a reply or a sign or news or results or morning to come..., that part when you are middle of writing something and suddenly your mind goes blank, an hour left to go in an examination....
so yeah i am stuck in this middleofnowhereland wondering what to do and daydreaming my life away. Not really, I am filling my day with as much useful and fun things to do but there's still the burning question of what to do in the future. "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things (daily necessities) will be provided for you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matthew 6:33-34) At least I still have God to tell my worries to if I don't have anyone else.
Maybe you are interested in what I'm doing. I'm working with my dad doing data entry for his accounting firm, so blessed to get an office job so easily while my friends have to apply and wait for interviews. sorry no more place in the office btw. I might be going to volunteer at a hospital just to get exposure just in case I decided to accept my offer to imu to do medicine. If I accept I will be going in feb next year. next year is 2016 wow, I am afraid and nervous. anyway, to anyone in the same situation as me, where you feel you are being left behind while everyone is moving forward, hope can be found in the weirdest places. I am not making sense am I.
Tuesday, June 30, 2015
Sunday, June 7, 2015
Dividing paths and defining paths.
I feel like I'm in a huge huge maze. So many possible dead ends, so many possible answers so many doors to open. And a couple of cliffs I have to jump off.
College ends. It was so subtle, and only now am I starting to feel it really sink in. After the coming trip to penang, and maybe a few more trips to kelana jaya, I'm pretty sure I'll be super emo.
Even my interview at IMU that I was suppose to get some answers from proved to be rather disastrous. I think, no, I'm pretty sure that I screwed up big. Screwed a hole in my image and then squashed a nut in there. I went in calm and confident, I was thinking, I am already not sure about anything so I most likely have nothing to lose.Wrong. Okay, it wasn't horrendous, I was able to deliver nicely and clearly. I am pretty sure I made them think that I was sure on following the medical line. But I'm not sure if they had faith in my potential and dedication. I totally misinterpreted the EQ question they gave. They asked "if I was a lecturer and if my students did well in their examination and then parents and students wanted to buy an expensive reward for me, would I receive the gift and why". I didn't think "expensive was a keyword". And I didn't answer what they wanted. I was trying to be honest, really putting myself in the lecturer's shoes, and how I would actually respond. So much for honesty. Get rekt la. I said I would take the gift. Number one mistake. I said that I didn't want to waste the students' efforts in buying the gift. They asked what if people thought badly of me, that I was accepting a bribe. I totally wasted breath explaining that I wasn't accepting bribe, they already got their results and I would still treat them equally, that I don't want them to feel bad by not accepting the gift. Mistake number two. I should have just blurted out something like you can't please everybody. Fits the medical profession, fits real life, it's legit. Simple. Nope, I didn't think of it because I blanked out. sigh.
Well, other than that, I am pretty happy about how events have been unfolding around me. I think I am going to get answers soon. I just need to push myself a little more to pray more, read more, look out more....
Anyway, I really pray for my friends that they will do well too. I know that I don't mention stuff like how much I appreciate you guys and I am very blunt and straightforward sometimes because I was tired of sugar coating my words, but I'm sorry and regret those moments of too much honesty. Thanks, friends. Honestly, people have taught me a lot. Speaking of friends, thank God for family too. So yeah, my everyday life is just learning always from the people around me.
haih, fun fact, I dunno what to write. Even though I know I am getting boring, I really dunno what else to write.
College ends. It was so subtle, and only now am I starting to feel it really sink in. After the coming trip to penang, and maybe a few more trips to kelana jaya, I'm pretty sure I'll be super emo.
Even my interview at IMU that I was suppose to get some answers from proved to be rather disastrous. I think, no, I'm pretty sure that I screwed up big. Screwed a hole in my image and then squashed a nut in there. I went in calm and confident, I was thinking, I am already not sure about anything so I most likely have nothing to lose.Wrong. Okay, it wasn't horrendous, I was able to deliver nicely and clearly. I am pretty sure I made them think that I was sure on following the medical line. But I'm not sure if they had faith in my potential and dedication. I totally misinterpreted the EQ question they gave. They asked "if I was a lecturer and if my students did well in their examination and then parents and students wanted to buy an expensive reward for me, would I receive the gift and why". I didn't think "expensive was a keyword". And I didn't answer what they wanted. I was trying to be honest, really putting myself in the lecturer's shoes, and how I would actually respond. So much for honesty. Get rekt la. I said I would take the gift. Number one mistake. I said that I didn't want to waste the students' efforts in buying the gift. They asked what if people thought badly of me, that I was accepting a bribe. I totally wasted breath explaining that I wasn't accepting bribe, they already got their results and I would still treat them equally, that I don't want them to feel bad by not accepting the gift. Mistake number two. I should have just blurted out something like you can't please everybody. Fits the medical profession, fits real life, it's legit. Simple. Nope, I didn't think of it because I blanked out. sigh.
Well, other than that, I am pretty happy about how events have been unfolding around me. I think I am going to get answers soon. I just need to push myself a little more to pray more, read more, look out more....
Anyway, I really pray for my friends that they will do well too. I know that I don't mention stuff like how much I appreciate you guys and I am very blunt and straightforward sometimes because I was tired of sugar coating my words, but I'm sorry and regret those moments of too much honesty. Thanks, friends. Honestly, people have taught me a lot. Speaking of friends, thank God for family too. So yeah, my everyday life is just learning always from the people around me.
haih, fun fact, I dunno what to write. Even though I know I am getting boring, I really dunno what else to write.
From the anime Shigatsu wa Kimi no Uso.
One lie can do so much sia.
I'm curious, why doesn't Arima want to play Ravel?
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