Expectations, Aspirations and Reservations

Wow....2014 is arriving.

Gosh I remembered last year I was nervous about SPM and now it's all gone gone gone gone gone

Sorry I haven't been active here. I lost my passion for blogging for quite a while. I am the type that just doesn't want to do anything when I am feeling stressed. And you know the stress that comes with exams. And it lingers with you for weeks after the exam was long over.

Besides SPM, one of the highlights of 2013 for me was a 10-day camp organised by SU and FES that I went to called d' Nous Academy. Basically, this camp's purpose is to train young Christians to become young thinkers through the training and discipline of the heart, mind and spirit (the Greek word "Nous" is defined as the heart, mind and spirit altogether). Interested? This camp has some heavy intellectual stuff. But the wonderful thing is we learn how to connect our classroom learning with our daily lives by engaging with the community around us - going to Nursing Homes or Centers for the disabled to connect with them, understand them and to be there for them, although it may be hard to understand them from our point of view. This camp has three stages that is spread out over three years. So every year is a different stage...and then the cycle repeats. I've been attending this camp for three years and have met amazing friends who have encouraged me to keep building a relationship with God and with the people I meet around me. This camp is pretty tiring mentally and physically and emotionally (I was very blur during my first year there) but the experiences we had there were unforgettable. YOu can find out more here : 

https://www.facebook.com/scriptureunion

I've reached my word limit. Sort of. Ciao

Christian music?

Do you like Christian music of this type? Or would you prefer it to be more scriptural?

How I tore myself

Just another testimony about how God has been good to me.

Late nights, brain overheating, and backaches. I don't know how I did it. It was the ultimate plan of last-minute studying...

How I got through that? aha, you wanna know my secret? Nothing. There's no secret ingredient. Nah, just joking. I prayed a lot and studied like a madman. Last-minute studying never is a good plan. But it happened.
How it happened? Obviously, the only answer is procrastination. "Oh no, SPM is 3 months away....""only 2 months left?!" ...etc. etc. Many times I would pick up the book ...and doze off or get distracted by something. Worse of all, I used the thought that this happens to everyone as a reason to slack and not to encourage myself.

Anyway, despite all the plans to start after trials yadayada... it was only towards the last four weeks before the exam when I started to do serious stuff. Serious but dumb stuff. I did notes. Don't be fooled, notes are a trap. You'll be better off studying the whole book and doing exercises. Especially for history. But ironically, there I was wasting time writing notes for history at the worst time possible without knowing I was sealing my fate. (Notes are very important, but there are some subjects that are just....un-note-able, even more when your exam is coming in a month's time.)

By the time the day of the exam dawned, I just left to it to God. Well, the language subjects weren't the ones I feared. I was getting desperate about History.  Proof? I dreamed about the textbook every night. It's times like these where you need a friend to study with (cause you don't know what to study because you haven't started anything). I did and I guess it was really helpful. It was the first time, in fact, when I managed to learn so much in a group study...

The next bomb that dropped was moral. I kept looking over my shoulder, but my friends all seemed to be perfectly composed, writing pretty aggressively on their papers. Did I miss out some news about the change in format? Ever since that paper there was significant change of perspective in my mind about this exam, I started thinking about the things that could happen in the department and marking center.

Science week was the time I truly pushed myself to the limits. It's the last week anyway, so why not push all the way? Just to give you an idea of how this week went: knowing I had a limited time left, I made a rough plan and did my best to keep to it. Then I failed so I made another plan. If I fail again, it becomes a tighter plan. Eventually, the plan becomes nearly impossible, like the aim to finish one page in half a minute to cover 120 pages in an hour. I planned to finish all three science subjects in three days, it seemed possible to me when I thought about it. It wasn't.

I took three days to finish physics. Well, I did watch a movie during that time, haha. That left me only 16 hours left to study for the next paper: Chem. And the same amount of time for Bio. Well, I did manage to cover almost everything for Chemistry, by staying up until 12 and waking up at 3 am to study until daybreak. Biology, the subject I've been studying the most before exam, and the one I was determined to get a good result for, suffered a gloomier fate. The whole of form 5 I studied b4 exam was 65% forgotten. I managed to finish only form four by staying up until 2am and waking up at 4am.
Don't be like me. I was paying for the time-wasting I did for two years. I'm just grateful God was merciful and was there for me.
Thank you mom and pa for taking care about the other stuff like food and encouragement.

Never again. But no regrets. Whatever the results, I did my best in the little time I had left.

Now what

SPM OVER. lol

The Last Leg

This is it. My last leg. For this one, the toenails will be made of quartz glass. This leg has to be better than all my other prototypes. Got to shape it with a titanium core and stainless steel knee joints......


Whut. I don't make artificial legs. Obvious by the weird selection of materials. Anygrey, I have a confession. .....  ..... I didn't realize that SPM is only 8 weeks away. Knock knock. Who's there? Sejarah, your nightmare. Sejarah? That's a weird name for a horse.

I'm sorry. Trials just finished two days ago you see.... My brain still hurts.
Unfortunately, the reality is that I have a major paper coming up and it'll affect a lot of my future. Can't be updating as much (honestly there's nothing to update nowadays).

Study Hard. Pray Hard. Play Hard. Trust in God. Trust in your memory. Trust in your teachers. Study Hard. Sleep.

Sudden Sentimental Sensations

Just two weeks more to my trials, about two months to SPM and three and a half months until the end of my high school life. I feel terrible.

BK Oral Quiz was amazing this year. I managed to get through to the semis with Marytha. There was only one disappointment - we were the only team from bukit mewah that joined the oral quiz. Hopefully, there'll be more next year (:

My brain is moving very slowly nowadays. It just can't work as fast, especially when I'm facing an open history textbook with the gloomy thought that SPM trials is ominously approaching at a supersonic pace. It is one of those moments when my head feels like a rock and my bed seems extra comfy. Darn.

Yet amidst all that hallabubu I realised everyone has at least some plans for their future. I seem to be the only one still stuck. Well, there is comfort for a person like me: it's no point rushing to go college and uni and get a job because you can have all the money in the world but you shouldn't hurry pass your youth cause it only comes by once.
Actually, I'm not so comforted by that now...

ZZzzPscsktstss

Camps, Interviews and School

An interview in a restaurant at 11 pm is not something that happens to you often.

Hullo, we're in June already? 

It scares me out every time I think of the ever decreasing duration before SPM trials and SPM begins. I have not been all that confident of late. I used to have subjects like English where I was always positively sure of getting good marks in. But after I got C in English in the previous test....

Church Camp was great. I had a fun time. Played paintball for the first time in my life. Thank God we had a really good camp speaker. It really helped anti-social people like me to get to know the church members.

God never ceases to surprise people. When I got the letter for the AFS interview, I thought I won't be able to go (it clashes with my church camp). I had nearly totally forgotten about it until I got back and Yuliesa contacted me to tell me she was trying to set up a special arrangement so that I can still be interviewed. Yesterday, I received a phone call at 9 pm - my interview was arranged at some tom yam restaurant (the vice president of the AFS office in NS worked there.)  I was in KL so by the time I got back was 10.30. I didn't know what to bring and in the end I forgot to bring all the certificate. Sillyness. I had the interview at 11pm. Craziness. I don't think I did well, so if I get through, God really wants me to go. And AFS will probably regret that decision forever. Thank you Yuliesa and Samuel.

What else. Study. We can't live with it but we can't live without it.

Dubstep

My first semi-dubstep favourite. It's actually glitch-hop and dubstep la. I think they're the same. Enjoy. You can eat it if you want.
*pause the music at the bottom first.

It's the chorus that makes it so addictive. Awesome for FPS games maybe. But you can still listen to it while playing tetris...

tt

The Ixorian Controversy

"You know, I prefer teaching the lower classes. All the good classes are so arrogant."

It is a fact that there is inevitably a little prejudice here and there in every matter. There is, however a teeny big prejudice towards top classes in my school. I'm sure it's true in every school. But I'll only talk about the one in mine.
By top classes in my school I am referring to the first three classes in academic results. Usually, this feeling of resentment towards the top classes comes from the older (and more experienced) teachers. Basically, they dislike us because they think that many of us are arrogant. I wouldn't swipe that aside as untrue. If I was the most snobbish person in the world, I wouldn't know it myself. But, I feel this perception has been exaggerated a lot. Maybe in the past there were arrogant students that didn't honor the teachers, and because of this handful of snobs the top classes get a bad name.
Yet, perhaps we are actually rude and arrogant. Or maybe our playful and immature attitudes were mistaken for arrogance and over-confidence. It is likely that the lower classes are more willing to learn than us. But, sometimes teachers have too high expectations of us. We're just children inside after all.
I'm glad teachers have brought up this matter honestly to us. It keeps us on our toes. It just takes a drop of poison to spoil the whole pot of soup.

Teachers' Day just passed a few days ago. I got a peck on the cheek! By a teacher of course. What, you thought I got that from my pet whale? Anyway, It is amazing what chocolate cake and three words (Happy Teachers' Day) can do.
I digress. As Teachers' Day just went by, I would like to apologize to all teachers sincerely for being a pain in the butt. And  sometimes for being a stink in the nose. And that is a lot of pain I caused :P

Totally unrel8ted 

Prepare for Slogging

Just like a white man's burden, people with camera phones seem to have a burden to share their self-portraits.

Thanks Aaron, your singing saved UNITE. 

Dear Exams,
I'm feeling terrible, since you know me, I was a happy soul, but that's the old me.

Mid-term exams are starting next week and will last for 3-4 weeks, so there goes my sleep. Sorry for the slow updates this year. I've not been doing well in my studies this year. I have 3 major dilemmas:
- I have mental fatigue. Means I find it hard to concentrate. I already have slight ADHD (very mild), so tiredness makes it worse. My reflexes slow down too. It could be due to lack of sleep or it could be something wrong with my health. So by God's grace, more sleep, less Internet and more prayers will help me a big deal.
- Distractions, distractions. The usual I guess, which are Fb, Tv and I would probably count homework as one if it is really a lot... But even normal stuff like a volleyball lying beside me are very tempting. Happens more often when I experienced mental fatigue. My brain's dry and my table's also a mess, which refers to undone resolutions (mostly in my head) and loads of unused papers and files. Should clear it up but it always takes a few days because these resolutions are kinda long term stuff. But it's possible.
- Wrong study methods. I know I should take notes and do exercises, but I never get to do that because of the problems above. And probably I should do a tiny little review of my time managing.

Well, that explains a lot about me right? Immature, clutter-brain and procrastinator. Time to change. But once again, I can't do much now because there's no time for anything now but study. Of course that's an exaggeration, I'm still online aren't I...
Won't be online for the next few weeks. ;)

distractions like this.

Relief

After weeks of planning and late nights...CF Camp is finally over. The best thing was that everything turned out OK. We lived up to everyone's expectations, and I can proudly say we might even have exceeded them too.

Too serious la... 

I'm so glad that our camp registration was full to the brim... The bus was packed with people until we had to worry about the police. But everyone got a seat so it was all fine. I thank God for such good weather throughout the whole camp...It rained when it should and there was sunshine when we needed it. :) We didn't forget anything (anyone). The games were really nice, so I'm satisfied after all the hard work the game masters and I had to do. It feels like nothing now. The campsite...was okay la. Had swimming pools and pretty nice rooms. But I'm a bit sad because there was no proper sports facilities... No basketball court. Old tennis court with no net, okayish futsal court...and a volleyball court that had turned into a parking lot. But it was nice anyway. Better than nothing. 

Last year's pose...so different from this year right?

We were ahead of time always. And casualties were minimum, although Pn. Choo got a cut on her leg, on the first day. The wound was really painful to see...ouch. But she was okay after we prayed for her. Next time should bring some eggs there, so we can apply egg white on any wounds. Last but not least, it was such a pleasure to have Pastor Jason as our speaker. I hope I can answer his challenge to seek for God and looked at myself properly. To know where you're going.

I think I should address one more thing. It's quite funny. While I was on the bus on the way to Melaka, everywhere I looked, most people were either holding a phone or sleeping. The bus was quiet...except for the boys at the back and a hand full of people chatting together. Everyone else was texting, watching movies, playing games or listening to songs on their phones. I guess I would do the same la if I had a phone, but I definitely would want to talk to friends on the bus. Maybe I just feel left out, but it's true that many people would prefer to look at their phones then talk to strangers. Maybe we're just shy. However, this shyness is very common...could it just be that we're uncommunicative?

Even seniors who come back for cf meetings say our members are so cold. What happened to the fire in CF? During games time, we had to specially plan games that would get people out of their comfort zones and mix. It did work. So I'm glad. Yet, I don't really understand this 'trend'. People call it the effects of living in the tech-age. Everything is now preferred to be virtual, straight-forward and secular.

During the sharing sessions by pastor Jason, people couldn't pay attention for more than 45 minutes. Friends on either side of me were soon covering their yawning mouths and asking for the time. I also felt the mild ADHD boy within getting restless. But, maybe the thing being shared was just very deep. It was about life, so complicated it is. Pastor Jason shared it as simple as he could and I can see he did a good job. He even changed his original topic to suit the campers. It was really interesting. Maybe we should have spread out his sessions into 1 hour-sessions, like 2011 camp. Or include games in the sharing like in 2012, but this takes talent and time.

So...it's just something to think about. Anyway, congratulations committee, we did it.

No Surprises

I didn't manage to finish studying Sejarah as usual. It's wonderful to be so consistent... Exams are over for now. I don't think I'll do well...

But still busy with camp prep. Last time, I used to admire Scripture Union workers because they have so much passion for young people. Now I admire them even more. Organising a camp is tough. Doing that in an exam week is crazy. So I can imagine how insane it is to do it as a job. They must be topping up their phone credits every week.

I would like to be a genius at eating...

Congratulations to all straight A students! You guys studied really hard for it...so no surprises. Real life should be starting soon for you guys I guess... 

Used to think that straight As was something you have to get, if you wished to take tertiary education overseas. I was wrong. Straight As isn't everything. Straight A+ is.

Just kidding. But it could be the truth if I used JPA scholarships as a reference. I dunno what is the thing that gives a person success. I think there isn't. There's only a person. If you do your best, God will know what to do next. But, in SPM, there's no such thing as a fail. If you didn't do well, the exam isn't good enough for you. 

Happy Holidays. 

Heralding The Exams

Mar-belous February and Feb-ulous March are just two hectic months. So here comes the first test of form 5. I really hope everything goes well...
Did well in BK mini test. It's amazing how fast you can finish the paper when you have prepared well for it.
CF Camp funds are almost done, now we're praying for a consent from the ministry so it can be a successful camp. Inter-school CF rally coming soon on 13 April. State volleyball competition in April too, let's hope the Under-18 girls can get a medal for Seremban.

So for now, it's just rush rush rush..

New Year Wishes

It's the busy month of February again and amidst the hustle and bustle familiar greetings for a prosperous new year are ringing in everyone's ears.

Prosperity. Please let this word mean wealth that surpasses monetary values. Hope you all have great time with your families. Happy Chinese New Years.

SBMVC have done it again. We have made history. And this is our gift to you for Chinese New Year. Very 'huat' indeedy. Under 18-girls have won champion for district levels for the first time in about 5 years. Under-18 boys have managed to achieve everyone's expectations by making it into the finals. But we lost sadly. But they fought hard. So congratz! First runner-up is still a good placing. Under-15 boys were simply  full of surprises. Underdogs yet they managed to get third. Under-15 girls won 1 lost 2 but they played really well considering most of them only started training this year. I think it is the best year SBM has had in a looonng time. Thanks Pn. Chuan. Volleyball club lives on thanks to you.

Okay, I was skipping one embarrassing thing. I was the reserve.....): Sucks. My last chance gone poof. Now just feel guilty holding a medal that I never really fought to get. Only played four points in the game versus ACS. We were leading 28 to 8 I think. Two balls were out so I never touched them. Only digged the ball once. Well, I did my best in cheering and praying hard. So I guess I played that part quite well.

Exam coming soon. Cannot procrastinate. Must........Happy Chinese New Year!

tchuss

Painted Skin

My skin's been painted dark brown by the sun. And sorry for this late post.

Been really busy, with school activities. To the extend that my weekends feel like weekdays. But I'm healthy. Apart from having a really long-winded new PK HEM, nothing much is happening in school. The same old stuff(not really, there have been many more stuff that I'm just too lazy to remember). But I'm having problem deciding on whether I should or should not take Chinese. My parents want me to stop because they don't want it to affect my results.. But along came this news from my tuition friend. He said one of his teachers told his class that if a SPM candidate has more than 10 subjects (I'm not sure if it's 9 or 10), he can make one subject as an extra subject. What happens when you do this is that if you don't get an A for this 'extra subject', but the rest of your subjects are all As, you get straight As on your SPM certificate. For example, I'm taking 11 subjects. Then suppose I place Chinese as my extra subject. Now I'm normally getting B in Chinese maybe B+ if I work hard. So suppose my SPM Chinese gets B, but my bio, physics, chem, etc. all get A. 10 As 1 B. If this news is true, I'm a straight A student.

And that's the dilemma I'm in. I asked my BC teacher. She said she wasn't sure although she had heard about something like it before. Then I asked Pn Tan the counselor. She hadn't heard about it. Haha. So now hopefully I can find Mr Low the other counselor at his free time. The counselors are really busy nowadays. So Chinese hasn't stopped giving me headaches. Why I want to take it? Cause I feel I need it for my own knowledge. I know in the end it won't help me much. (:

Volleyball Competition in 9 days time. Pretty nervous cause I'm such a freaking noob. Keeping on making simple mistakes that I would regret for weeks if it was in a real competition. The team is inexperienced too. We have the basics. We don't have the fine tuning, accuracy, alertness. And facilities. Tell me how are we gonna dive flat out on a porous concrete court?
And the biggest problem is we're aiming to win. Praying hard.
But don't get me wrong, we are still having enjoying ourselves. Just nervous.

BK class has new members. Never expected so many. It's great to know that there are people still interested  in Bible Knowledge. Praise God.

Tchuss