I know that when I give time to people, I give it freely to them without expecting anything in return. Yet, I inevitably feel sad when they don't notice the energy I used up.
It's sort of a cycle. I don't want them to notice and purposely make it look like I did it nonchalantly, but deep down I do want to be noticed. I wish I wasn't so selfish, then I wouldn't be having all these thoughts. Maybe the effort I put in is overshadowed by the far exceeding efforts and contributions of others. I guess I'm just a background prop in their life's play. Look at me being crestfallen and pitiful about my shortcomings and limitations.
I can't help feeling hurt, and it's pathetic. When can all these selfish thoughts of mine go away? It's really childish of me.
Probably the same way parents feel when their children take things for granted. Guess it's payback time for me.
oops. negativity again :P
No comments:
Post a Comment