Second-choice Worlds

Have you ever been in a situation where you didn't get what you want?

We learn a lot about ourselves in a traffic jam, at airports during flight delays, and at most times when we do not get what we want. This is what we call getting the second-choice, instead of our first-choice. 

Second-choice worlds give us the chance to see what is inside us, an opportunity to see what we really are. These testing times are very precious times; they are gold dust to someone who wants to live with a measure of self-understanding. 

Second-choice worlds hold up a mirror to us and ask us to have a good look at what we see.

I am admittedly not an avid reader, and it takes a intentional mindful decision to make me pick up that book I've been trying to finish for a couple of months, even years. My mom had recommended a book by Rev. Viv Thomas for me to read I think about 1 or 2 years ago and I'm just took it up again this week to continue where I left off. The words in italic above are some excerpts from it. The book title is Second Choice and it's a very practical Christian view of being placed in situations we normally wouldn't prefer to be in.

Normally, huh? Actually, the norm is, in fact, most of the time we don't get what we want. And rightfully so, because persevering through uncomfortable situations builds character.

I would have to confess that I sometimes fall into the mindset of a victim. I blame my situations, adversities, and just plain "bad luck", to compensate for my incompetency in handling my life. Perfectionism is a good, but definitely not all the time. You will never have a perfect outcome no matter what, although it is important to do your best in all situations and strive to be perfect, or at least improve. There's always room for improvement.

I realize that it was a mistake of me to think back when I was younger, that I will be matured and sure of myself when I reach adulthood. That I would somehow be someone I want to be. But no, if you want to see a change, it starts from now. Nobody is going to hold your hand and tell you what to do. Maybe sometimes for some fortunate people, someone will be there to guide them, but in the end you have to muster up the courage to handle things alone.

Being someone who prefers to handle things all by myself, the so-called "one-man-army", I had to learn even more. Not only did I have to learn when I needed to delegate work, or ask for help, I also had to learn to upgrade my one-man-army because it wasn't good enough. Just because I can accomplish task A well, it doesn't make an excuse for me to be lackadaisical in my approach to task B.

Studying in SEGi definitely has made me grown a lot in the midst of hardship. Not the "it's a matter of life or death" hardship, of course, I'm aware there are many people suffering much more than I am, and I am grateful to live in a peaceful country, to have my parents supporting me financially, and to be studying a very respectable course. Hear me out, though. In the world of medical schools, the crème de la crème always are the medical graduates from UM, UKM for public universities and Monash, IMU and Newcastle for private. SEGi, among the likes of AIMST, UTAR, MAHSA, and Taylor's are among the mid-tier (sorry Taylor's, you're not top tier although your price is the like them).

We had to deal with not knowing what our lecturers are saying because of language barriers (they didn't speak english fluently), classmates not being cooperative and just complaining, and having not much support from the faculty. Campus facilities weren't that great too, especially for an adrenaline junkie like me. But yeah, it was actually turned out to be a good training ground to practice handling personality conflicts and on-the-spot thinking to handle unexpected hiccups.

I've always had an attitude that I'm not worthy to be a leader because I lacked the skills, but it was actually because I never got the chance. So, I was secretly glad to have a chance to handle the job of a class rep when nobody wanted to take on the inconvenient job of bridging lecturers and students, and sometimes being the "bad guy" for people who cheat with attendance. I had nothing to lose, because I didn't really consider any of them as friends, more like acquaintances. But, I learn people respect you if you are impartial and show no favoritism. It's a lonely road to walk, being nobody's friend and also quite confidence-boosting when everyone relies on you.

This post is getting long, so bullets-points come to the rescue!!!
- 3rd year, joined medical society and it was good exposure on how to just be accepting of criticism...which wasn't a problem for me because my dad already grilled (is that the correct term?) that into me since young.
- 4th year, became president of a society nobody wanted to join, Leo Club, which just gave me a little feel of my capabilities and shortcomings. Leo Club has been like a pain in the neck, because it's totally a waste of time in a sense that it didn't help me become a doctor, but nevertheless, it was good exposure to boring meaningless meanings and people wanting to take photos whenever they do charity. At least, I know that even if people say they'll guide you, you're on your own still.
- 5th year, realize that I don't care. I must learn to say no and get my priorities straight. Stop people pleasing and speak up when it's needed, but shut up when it's not worth it. Using intuition and my experience to my advantage in social situations more. Realizing that life sometimes is just a long game of copy and paste or copy, modify and paste (not talking about plagiarism of course, I meant social skills.....or am I?).

I'm running low on attention span (still haven't my suspicion of having ADHD). Till next time then. I hope everyone who reads this didn't feel it was a waste of time here. It's important to give you your money's worth (in this case, I'm saying your time is money).